Confidence is Sexy
Confidence is Sexy. But how do you get it without skipping steps or faking it?
Your Twin Flame is your Divine Mirror, so everything that’s going on in your heart – how you think and feel about yourself – they will reflect to you. If your Twin isn’t valuing you, then a part of you isn’t valuing yourself, and so on. If you have low self-worth, and feel powerless, this will be reflected to you by your reality. When you heal the root of it in your own heart, the reflection matches this too. I learned to heal by practicing Jeff and Shaleia’s work and the way they teach the Mirror Exercise.
Recently, I was shown a place where I lacked confidence. I went deeper to discover the root, and then resolved it by using Jeff and Shaleia’s method. Read on to find out how I healed that.
When I was a schoolkid, I whizzed past other children and got placed in the advanced or gifted classes. I barely did any homework and got straight A’s anyway. The trouble with this is once I hit University, my grades started dropping. University required me to do my homework or fail, and I didn’t have the work ethic to keep up with the foundation I needed. My old “sliding by” tactic didn’t work. I saw kids who used to get extra help after school in primary blast past me and get amazing grades in college, and land wonderful jobs. Not knowing how to work through this, my confidence plummeted. All I could do was watch their success and look at my own hopelessness.
In fact, what I learned is that my confidence was based on falsehood, that all the shortcuts I used didn’t actually serve me because foundational pieces were missing, leading to everything crumbling later on. I experienced this in video games where I would play with very experienced players, who helped to ‘carry’ me in the game, but I wasn’t actually learning because I was simply standing on their shoulders.
Once, I was playing a Minecraft mod with friends from Twin Flames Universe, and Fabian A. Scholz gave me a mega dragon sword. That’s something that requires mastery of certain other elements of the game, which I didn’t have. This seemed like a very good thing for me to have a sword, but when I got to certain places in that game, and then later in the amazing Minecraft Mod called Nightmare Craft Chapter One, I wasn’t able to carry myself because I didn’t learn essential bits.
I experienced this same pattern in my Twin Flame Union. Josh and I would come together swiftly, and then fall apart again because some of the essentials were missing. After a while, this became unbearable.
I finally realized this pattern and set about healing it. I found the part of me that wanted the result more than she wanted the actual true healing. I asked myself why I didn’t take the time to put together my solid foundation. The response was that I didn’t feel supported in taking my time to build, as well as a fear that if I didn’t rush ahead, I would miss my chance. Well, by not taking care of myself and building my foundation, I missed my chance anyway! I let all of that go.
Instead, I chose to just surrender to where I was at. I had to get very honest about where I was. It included all areas of my life: financially, romantically, and even health-wise. It doesn’t serve you to pretend to be further along than you are. Also, it takes some time to actually see where you really are, and I gave myself that time.
In Nightmare Craft Chapter One, I decided to truly build my foundation. I’m mining basics and getting a huge inventory of them – coal, iron, etc. Then I’ll feel solidly supported before moving on to the next. This solid support engenders great relaxation and confidence within me.
In my Union, Josh and I are grounding our union, right where it is. We aren’t trying to stretch out and be in a place we aren’t yet ready to be at yet. It was safe to surrender to where we actually are with that. He’s working at a restaurant and loves it. He’s also attending my coaching sessions with me (where I am coached by Laurentiu Florin Benzar and Alexandra Benzar) and has been watching Twin Flame Ascension School and Life Purpose Class together with me. All the pressure is off, and now our Union can grow.
To sum it up, confidence is about building a rock-solid foundation. When you feel secure in where you are standing, you can walk forward with grace and ease. You feel confident because you sense a feeling of definiteness about yourself, by a path that you walked yourself. I needed lots of support to build my foundation, and I claimed it. I wasn’t cheap with myself with time or money. I invested what was actually necessary. And I’m eternally grateful for it.
