On Faith And Progress
I remember watching Jeff and Shaleia's Twin Flame IRL videos. They always gave to us through sharing themselves and their faith in God in the moment. I desire to connect and share right from where I am in process, and not wait until things are 'resolved' and shiny and ‘perfect’.
Being in Harmonious Union with your Twin Flame is all about expanding into deeper love, and surrendering to that love. From the moment I attained Harmonious Twin Flame Union with Josh, I continued to watch Twin Flame Ascension School classes, heal blocks and receive support. When I completed all the coursework in Jeff and Shaleia’s body of work, I started over from the beginning to deepen in the work and spiritual themes, propelling my healing ever forward.
This summer, addiction came to light in our Union. When Josh came clean to me after losing his job, I felt such deep compassion for him, and it felt very good to be in an honest, sober state. There were lots of pieces to clean up and lots of healing to follow. When I first found out, it explained a lot about things that had been going on that I just couldn’t understand, more than just what I was experiencing externally. I was shown parts of myself that were addicted to something – to work, or codependent relationship patterns. At first, I was very resistant to accepting those as my patterns, but through the encouragement and support of my coaches, Colby and Keely, I surrendered and made the choice to heal them.
A month later, we received an eviction notice from our apartment office. We lived together in a 2br/1ba with Josh’s friend, and only the two of them were on the lease. I wasn't on the lease, and the apartments gave us all 7 days to move, or that I would need to move. I was very surprised, but I put one foot in front of the other and did what I could. I think it was God saying, "time to upgrade" since it was not compassionate for us to share the small space. There was a lot of contrast we were all experiencing because of that.
Our roommate decided to stay in the apartment, and Josh decided to hold the lease with him as it was a commitment he made to his friend. I respect Josh for his choice in commitment, one of our core values. He would go back and forth from our home to the apartment with the roommate until a new arrangement could be made compassionate for all.
I had faith in God, and even though I felt fear coming up in this uncharted territory, I still moved forward. I watched many TFAS and LPC classes and my coaches helped me release fear and continue to choose love. I made a love list for a new home with Josh, and after that, I found a perfect apartment in just two days, just across the lake from where we lived. It is absolutely beautiful, south-facing, with amazing light and a great porch. I wasn’t sure if my proof of income (PayPal reports and bank statements) would be acceptable, but they were! The new home felt very peaceful and loving, and I even set about decorating it the way I had always wanted it to be, thanks to my dear friend, client and soul sister, Sierra.
Two weeks after the move, I signed up for the Mind Alignment Process (MAP) and began to heal my patterns of codependency, starting with core issues of trauma I faced in my childhood. I made several efforts to invite Josh to MAP too, but he declined, and pressuring him where he wasn’t yet ready to go didn’t feel compassionate. He was focusing all his energy on finding a new job and staying sober. I surrendered to how God desired for me to heal, and that it was enough. Committing to my MAP healing completely was the best choice I ever made.
The things that happened this summer stirred up things inside me that I never would have believed I could face with grace and ease. Because I had committed to the inner work that Jeff and Shaleia teach at Twin Flames Universe, I got to walk through the fears with love, with God. My Union doesn’t look like other people’s on the outside, Comparing myself to others wasn’t helpful at all, and I made a new choice. I chose to surrender to Love and realize that what was happening was the result of my healing, not because I had made a mistake, or didn’t choose love. On the contrary, it was only because I had healed to a certain degree that I was able to handle all these things. I see now that I could never have faced this even last year. My Union is ready now, and I choose to honor it.
It felt like a big reset. My communication with Josh began to improve and feel more peaceful. We made a date one night, and he surprised me by inviting me to his secret meditation rock, a large bolder on the edge of the lake. I didn’t know it even existed, and I’m still learning things about my Twin. We sat, talked about the planets and watched the sky for about an hour under the moonlight. God really knows how to romance me.
Simultaneously, I began to talk with God a LOT. With Josh out of town for days at a time on job sites where he isn’t able to take technology, I had a lot of time to meditate, heal and reflect. Thanks to my MAP healing, I was able to ground in healthy routines, cook all three Divine Dish meals every day, and serve God through His Church. It felt like a big fog lifted, and that I’m more clear and peaceful than I ever have been.
In this state of peace, I was able to receive a blessing from God through Jeff and Shaleia: the opportunity to love my Union on a deeper level. They showed me that I could invite Josh and his friend to live together in a big house, that I could treat his friend as soul family and teach him Jeff and Shaleia’s Teachings, and that way Josh would not feel torn between his friend and me. Before this, I had felt a lot of contrast and conflict with his friend, and I was glad God showed me how I could love better. I desired to follow God here and I started by extending an invitation for the three of us to eat dinner together. I also shared my desire for us to live together. I will do anything for my man and what he loves, and my Union. It felt very good to love my Union this way. It looks like we could live in the new home in November.
I could see how all these moments really were opportunities for me to get closer with God. He truly is my best friend and companion when my whole world was shifting in ways I had never experienced. I saw how my relationship with God had been distant, and that I had upsets to heal with Him. He brought me to a point of really seeing who He was, not just talk about Him.
He was always there, and is there.
Josh and I are in a beautiful process with God, and it truly feels that healing codependency in this way is a veritable miracle, what I feel my soul came to Earth to do, and to help others do this. I truly value this journey I can feel our heart as a bright star gleaming and so proud of us, and that’s worth more than all the gold in the world to me. I'm proud of us, proud of my Union for choosing to heal.
