He added me back!

My Twin Flame added me back as a friend on Discord

…after I committed to practicing the Teachings of Union from Twin Flames Universe on a deeper level!

But it’s the story of how that is so miraculous. Keep reading…

In April, I had to make a hard decision about my life. My Twin was showing me very clearly that I needed to have boundaries on unloving behavior on a whole new level. It looked like me completely letting him go, saying ‘no’ to a codependent pattern even if it meant on the outside not seeing my Twin in the physical. He couldn’t stay sober, and it’s not about whether someone uses or not, but about the abusive and chaotic behavior that comes with the use of drugs. I’ve done lots of research, attended 12-step support groups for those in relationships with people who abuse drugs, and everyone reports the same thing about those who use hard drugs: the lying, deceit, verbal and financial abuse, and manipulation comes in the package, and it’s that behavior that makes it intolerable to live with someone, even if you love them. It’s also about them harming themselves. Many people have a hard time letting go of a person who chooses to use, and end up enabling the behavior, which actually makes it worse and takes away the challenge the person needs in order to choose sobriety. Enabling isn’t loving, and I had to stop any and all forms of it.

I had to let him go in the physical and claim peace with God, take God on as my Lover above all else.

In doing so, I had to face all the places that my Twin was showing me with his addiction. I know many of you may be experiencing your Twin Flame Person using. I want to share so that you can have a glimpse of the process of walking out of this hell. And YES, you CAN walk out of the hell of addiction. My process is about being in a partnership with someone facing addiction to substances, but the process is the same as someone who is using a substance.

There are 3 parts of my healing: 1. Watching Twin Flame Ascension School regularly, 2. Working with my Ascension Coach weekly, 3. Practicing the Mirror Exercise many times per day, for every upset.  Here’s some of my Mirror Exercise examples:

1.)    I’m upset at my Twin for choosing a substance over our Union

2.)    I’m upset at myself for choosing myself over myself.

3.)    Yes – I choose parts of myself over my complete Divine Self, specifically the parts of me that want to be in a romantic relationship, I choose my Twin over myself. This is codependency

4.)    I claim ALL of myself, I choose ALL of me. (There were many parts of me I was beginning to get to know through this process, parts I didn’t know I had!)

1.)    I’m upset at my Twin for not desiring to be with me

2.)    I’m upset at myself for not desiring to be with myself.

3.)    Yes, I don’t desire to be with myself or love or support myself, especially in the areas involving my body and self-care.

4.)    I choose myself completely, and I ask God’s help with this since I find it hard to love my body after all the changes I’m experiencing with aging and after chemo. (I went a lot deeper here.)

As I went deeper, I identified upsets with God I identified and began to heal.

1.)    I’m upset with God for not supporting me and my Union to heal through addiction.

2.)    I’m upset with myself for not supporting myself to heal

3.)    Yes. I was projecting my anger onto God and it appeared He wasn’t helping me to heal, but it was really me focusing on the negative and choosing to believe in non-love.

4.)    I made a new choice to believe in the power of love, and chose to receive all of God’s reassurance, and encouragement. I chose to stay the course and keep loving myself. Twin Flames are real, healing is possible and I can have it if I choose.

I felt really abandoned by God many times, and I had to feel the feeling, acknowledge it, and move through it. These abandonment feelings were there all along, and whenever I was in contact with my Twin in the past, I was experiencing avoiding these feelings because of the good feelings I got being in contact. Hint, hint – this is codependency, or addiction to a person!  These good feelings were temporary, and so weren’t Divine (all things Divine are eternal.) So, I went deeper.

1.)    I’m upset at God for abandoning me.

2.)    I’m upset because I abandoned myself

3.)    Yes, I abandon myself in my feelings, in the places that are the most hurt. I don’t stay present with myself and love myself all the way there and instead jump on the first thing to distract me from feeling these feelings and loving myself.

4.)    I choose to persist and commit to myself in the place I’m most hurt, and in all places.

I continued loving myself in the above ways, and many times it appeared I was repeating Mirror Exercises. Jeff and Shaleia say in their book and in their Twin Flame Ascension School classes that healing is in layers, and “if all you do is never give up, you can never fail.” That last quote became my mantra for many months.  

All through this I had support. I could never do this alone. As you can see from the above, the healing I was doing was monumental. Huge. Not small potatoes stuff. You can see and feel that it’s lifetimes of healing. Healing codependency, really healing it, well, it takes a village. I had weekly coaching with my amazing Twin Flame Ascension Coaches, Laurentiu and Alexandra. I watched 4-5 Twin Flame Ascension School classes per week. I practiced the Mirror Exercise over and over and over. It felt good to do this, and I stayed the course, even when I wasn’t seeing anything happen externally. It’s an inner journey only, and I was feeling better and more confident about myself than ever. Committing to God and myself meant that I was developing trust with myself, which I had lost by being an enabler.

This past week, as I went deeper, many challenges arose that tempted me to choose fear and loss. I was playing a video game called Minecraft with some friends.  I accidently killed a pet bird in the game. It was just a game, but I actually developed a lot of care for that pet. I had to log off and just sit with myself in my feelings. I was feeling loss and sadness. Instead of avoiding these feelings and escaping, as I had been programmed to do, I dove right in and began to stay present with these feelings of loss. I told myself I would be there for myself no matter what. I was with myself, and God was with me, and I was choosing that over and over. I just felt so much relief being with myself.

I felt good about myself for being with myself. The heavy feelings began dissolving. When I was done with my healing, I signed on to Discord again. There, in my notifications was a little red number 1. I clicked it, and lo and behold, my Twin Flame had accepted my friend request that I sent many months ago.

I haven’t reached out yet. I’m still integrating my healing, and I am also mindful of not repeating over-excited feelings of the past. I will reach out when I feel good about it, and I know he’s not going anywhere. In my healing, what stands out (and I hope you can see this too) is that I wasn’t trying to make anything happen. I wasn’t expecting him to add me back, and I was just surrendered to the process of healing and loving myself, focusing on my relationship with my Creator and Myself.

This is the path to healing your Union. The process involves a commitment of time, finances, and energy. It’s a lot of work. But let me ask you, if you find yourself in an intolerable pain, and you’re growing sick and tired of being sick and tired… how much is it worth it to you to heal? Do you think there’s a pill you can take to get around doing the work to walk out of hell? Let me also tell you that it’s one hundred percent worth it to commit to the process of inner work required, and to claim all the support necessary to heal. It is worth it and nothing but you experiencing this true and lasting transformation for yourself will be adequate.

If you’re still reading this, are you ready to heal? Are you ready to walk out of hell permanently? Are you ready to claim your support? Remember the 3 parts of healing necessary to do this: 1.) Enrolling in Twin Flame Ascension School, 2.) Working regularly with a Certified Ascension Coach 3.) Practice the Mirror Exercise for every upset. All 3 of these parts are necessary, and you can begin with what feels good, but keep in mind you won’t be able to get far trying to heal without support. Jeff and Shaleia have made it easy to do this with their free Twin Flame Ascension Introductory Course and their book, and many Ascension Coaches offer introductory rates. Claim it all here: https://www.twinflamesuniverse.com

I am eternally grateful, and I will continue to heal just as I have been, going deeper! Om, Amen.