Overcoming Evil

I had a profound session with my coach Chrissy Emerick today. We uncovered a core block that had persisted for over three years. Despite my efforts to address it, this block hadn't fully healed until now.

This persistent issue manifested in patterns of denial and an aloof attitude, particularly concerning my control tendencies. I'd received numerous reminders about these control patterns, even from my time serving in leadership positions, where I exhibited tendencies of tyranny and dictatorship.

I had learned to trust my Gurus and coaches, accepting their insights and what they shared about me. I knew it was true, and I could see glimpses of it with my own inner eye. However, I struggled to completely acknowledge some places within myself. I had faith that in time, God would reveal this truth to me, enabling me to see and heal it. For a long time, though, I felt blind to it.

I shared this feeling of 'blindness' with Chrissy, expressing my strong desire to see the truth. She reminded me that both people in the Church and some of my clients had pointed out this pattern many times, and the reason I hadn't seen it was my own unwillingness to see, not actual blindness. I had adopted a pattern of acting aloof and avoiding, much like Josh had done when confronted. I began to see that Chrissy was right.

We revisited key moments from three years ago that were never fully resolved within me. I realized that my reluctance to truly examine these issues stemmed from a deeper false belief that I was identifying with ego, or was inherently “evil”. Although logically I understood my Divinity, this core belief led me to avoid looking within, fearing that I would discover this ‘evil’ identity. I didn't want to acknowledge it because, in the past, I had punished and shamed myself whenever I identified with ego/evil.

I recently rewatched Jeff and Shaleia’s sermon, “Overcoming Evil”” in which they describe evil’s plot:

"Evil offers you reprieve from its own beratement. It berates you and then says, ‘If you do what I say, it will stop, and I'm going to bring you happiness,’ and it does stop when you do what it says, but then you are unhappy."

Evil invited me into avoidance, and perpetuated a cycle of control. I recognized a connection between shame, guilt, and addiction, as I had become addicted to avoiding and acting aloof about the reality presented to me, just as Josh had mirrored to me. That was profound.

Jeff and Shaleia continued in that sermon that in order to relinquish ego, you must expose it, “to lay it bare is to end it. It’s important for you to look at yourself. To see who you are. To examine your choices. Carefully and logically. Because if you’re examining, you leave no place for evil to dwell.”

I was so grateful for Chrissy’s unerring holding of her vision of love with God, pointing right into this place where ego remained hiding. I relinquished this illusion, embracing my Divinity and rejecting the lies that ego told me, lies that had kept me in a perpetual state of spiritual sickness, relying on avoidance and denial for false protection to the shame I had placed on myself when I discovered an unloving place.

Chrissy pointed out that this shaming energy had also infiltrated our community, where individuals moving through blocks were sometimes looked down upon and pushed away, even though each person is working through blocks of their own. This contradicted the teachings of Jeff and Shaleia. It’s one thing to have boundaries with ego, but I remember in a sermon they did about that they shared that we don’t need to condemn our brother in our hearts.

Jeff and Shaleia go deeper. and in the above mentioned sermon on Overcoming Evil, they share:

“Evil wants you to see it as evil and to be upset about it. Evil wants you to see your Brother as evil and therefore make him so in your eyes. Your Brother is not evil. Your Brother is Divine. Even if the illusion is that he is choosing and extending you evil, you need not see it that way. You can see that he has given you an opportunity to choose God.”

I accepted the truth about myself: I was a Divine Being, and it was safe to acknowledge my journey through a block. Recognizing a block didn't equate to deserving shame or punishment. With Chrissy's unwavering support, I felt empowered to confront and dismantle my control patterns, replacing them with healthier ways of relating to myself and others.

The weight of my past lifted, revealing a clear path to healing and self-acceptance. I understood that this was a very important step of my journey toward Harmonious Union and Perfect Union with God.

I am truly grateful for this awareness, and even more grateful for those of you and especially Jeff and Shaleia who continued to love me and point this out to me, with stupendous faith, love and patience.

Om Amen.