My Own Kingdom
“In all of the Universe, everyone has a place. It’s God’s kingdom. Everyone is a King or Queen of their own kingdom, and no one is anyone’s bitch. No one needs to look to anyone else and say ‘ah, that’s how I live my life, that’s how I’m supposed to be.’ Everyone looks to God to do that.”
Jeff & Shaleia, TFAS W1C51
I'm letting go of all places where I've made someone else my source, and only choosing God. This process has happened in layers, and I'm now seeing deeper places where I was holding on to someone else, such as my Twin, making whether or not I was connecting with him be related to how joyful I allowed myself to feel, and I would look to others, even him, for how to be, rather than feel into what it was that I desired and follow that. This is a pattern of dependency, and it always fails, because the need is pointed into a person instead of into God.
I went deeper and saw so many places, from earliest childhood where my parents would pressure me to be a certain way, or do a certain thing that I was uncomfortable with, and guilt or shame me for where I would decline their request, or they would withdraw their resources and attention from me.
As a kid, I tried to please them by doing things I wasn't ready to do, or didn't feel comfortable to do, just so they wouldn't hurt or abandon me. I continued this pattern well into my adulthood, and it really showed up with my Twin Flame. When I got a scrap of attention, I would jump on it and try to do the thing that I thought would bring more of this. All this pointed to me not feeling full on the inside. From this place of lack, I wasn't able to build with God or grow my kingdom with Him. I experienced stunted growth because of this pattern.
Jeff and Shaleia's taught me and all of their students how to love themselves, and this self-love builds within in your relationship with God. This is incredibly empowering, and from following their teachings, bit by bit, I am able to take steps in security and faith toward a life that I create with God and fills me up on the inside. Through practicing the Teachings of Union, I have awoken again and again into a deeper state of Oneness with my Divine Self.
I've found great relief in watching Twin Flame Ascension School. (Https://www.twinflamesuniverse.com) These classes are pure gold, and Jeff and Shaleia created them to be watched anytime. It's safe to invest the time and resources to watch them. Today, I was feeling particularly vulnerable, and I watched a class which spoke directly to my concern, and I was able to release the heaviness that enshrouded my heart, and experience peace and relief. It's always the case, as God is always speaking through every class right to my heart.
This is a period where it feels I'm shedding another layer of skin, a period of growth. I feel it within, and as the older patterns leave, I feel sensitive, but I'm mindful of this sensitivity and just being compassionate and gentle with myself. Each time the Wheel of Learning comes around, I notice myself approaching it with more grace and ease. The Teachings of Union have helped me to soften my heart and be like bamboo, bending, yet strong. I will keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, and choosing to love myself, to put myself first and trust God more and more. Amen.
