Loving You, Even If...

Three years ago, I was suffering from anxiety and codependency in my Union and was desperate for support and guidance. I loved Josh with all my heart and didn't know how our Union could work, seemed and felt impossible. I searched for help, for someone who knew what I was going through, who wouldn't think I was crazy or take advantage of my vulnerability. I found Jeff and Shaleia on YouTube and joined their school right away. I was done suffering, and I knew I could trust them.

The most important thing Jeff and Shaleia have done for me was to gently yet thoroughly guide me to God. I didn't previously have a good relationship with God. I had dismissed God, because all I believed I knew of Him were projections of my wounding surrounding parents or authority figures. I didn't trust God, and sure as heck didn't consider Him the Love of my Life. I was really hurt and angry.

Through their love in their classes and the Ascension Coaches trained in Jeff and Shaleia's method, I was able to face these inner illusions and projections.

It was at first just a willingness to be open to God. Then gradually, layer by layer, my heart melted, and I began to talk with God as a person, a person with whom I was in a relationship with.

It was the start of a very beautiful journey.

In a year's time, Josh and I were living together. But there was deeper to go. My spiritual muscles were stronger, but now I needed to face the harder challenges: addiction and codependency. We broke up and lived separately. It looked like I was "losing" everything. But I wasn't. I was going deeper in my relationship with God, and He wanted to take me through core areas where my foundation was weak. I went through MAP.

I began to feel more safe to look at myself, my patterns. To really see what I was experiencing was a reflection of me. Even when I wanted to blame and project... even when I really did want to run, I stayed with it, put one foot in front of the other.

I got to a place where it was just me and God. By faith alone I moved forward. What was always there was Jeff and Shaleia, their school and community. It was a heartbeat that I chose to tap into whenever I felt weak. I would watch a class again and receive the support. I would book an extra coaching session when I was really feeling low. I would pour my heart out and be completely honest with where I was at. I remember saying "I don't understand! How could he be my Twin Flame?!" And moments where I was on my knees before my Creator, completely humbled, tears dripping from my face.

One foot in front of the other.

A simple choice in love. Just love.

Soft, gentle, sweet love.

Ever abiding.

One foot in front of the other.

Then the dawn came again. Gently at first. A message here and there. A meet up lasting an hour. Then gradually more conversation. Very natural, sweet and peaceful. The anxiety, codependency or control from three years ago was gone. I had a secure relationship with God now, and this reflected in my Union. My heart opened more and more, with God and with Josh too. He is my man, my love, my partner that God created for and with me. I can see his heart clearly again as I see my own.

Now I'm staying with Josh for a long weekend. I'm going thru chemo, losing my hair. I'm overweight and 14 years older than him. I have a scar down my stomach from surgery, and a red wound on my chest where I had a port catheter placed on Wednesday. None of this matters. He is just as attracted to me as ever, and he loves me. He went to my doctors appointments with me, and he sanitized his apartment for me to stay here. Being treated with this love was not my experience three years ago. This is what happens when you choose to heal what in coming up within, and give yourself all the love you need, not needing ANYTHING from your Twin.

This a man who loves me. And I am a woman who truly loves her man. It has always been this way, there were just blocks there to heal.

All this to say, no matter WHAT you are going through, you CAN heal this, and that the way is through Jeff and Shaleia's work only, committing to it fully, putting one foot in front of the other, never giving up, and claiming all the support you need. Your Union is precious, and completely worth it, and God will make a way for you if you desire it. When you move through mountains with God, you will experience just gratitude for what He gives you and continues to give you. Your Perfect Partner in Harmony is just one of the beautiful miracles you will receive as a result.

Thank you to my wonderful coaches Laurentiu and Alexandra, and especially to my beloved Gurus, Jeff and Shaleia.