Southern charm?

A post a bit off the norm, I wanted to talk about something that may plague some of you, my readers, as it has come to my awareness:

“It's just Southern Charm!”

I've been meaning to share this for some time now. I reside in the Southern region of the United States, where it is quite common for individuals, even strangers, to address you as 'sweetie,' 'honey,' 'darlin',' or 'sugar.' While I acknowledge that this practice is not exclusive to the US South, it is considered a part of Southern Hospitality.

Personally, I have never felt at ease with these terms, especially when used by unfamiliar people. I believe that such language is inappropriate and does not truly reflect a genuine sense of care or affection. Rather, I have noticed that individuals employ these terms to disarm potential threats or exert power over others. These expressions create a false sense of intimacy that has not been earned.

Furthermore, I am uncomfortable when people refer to me as 'cute,' 'precious,' or similar terms, as they often carry a condescending and belittling tone. If someone addresses me in this manner without my consent, it implies that they believe I have granted them permission to do so. If, deep down, they are aware that I have not given them such permission but still proceed regardless of my feelings, then shame on you.

If you are used to using these terms, I ask that you first, stop using these terms with me. Next, consider why you call people these terms when you do not have an established intimate relationship and mutual agreement with them. Ask yourself why you are choosing the words that you are choosing. Get to the root of it. Is it because you genuinely care about the person? If so, care about them enough to deepen your relationship with them instead of adding a word hoping that does the job.